Tuesday, 27 December 2011

On the first day of christmas my tinpot sent to me Moneyfields versus Horndean FC.

Moneyfields v Horndean
Monday 26th December 2011
Sydenhams Football League (Wessex)
Moneyfields Sports Ground, Portsmouth
Attendance 111

On the walls of the Moneyfields Social club hung one solitary team scarf, no sign of teams of times gone by, no pennants from other clubs; nothing. Hanging in the clubhouse air was Poundland tinsel and the stale fog of a hundred Brussels sprout scented farts. I soon made it 102 and a half.

New iPad's were charged, kids on new scooters wizzed around, a players Mum showed of her new Cath Kidston bag while a ground hopper filed a couple of programmes in a freshly pressed bag.

Signs made of number plate letters is now possibly my favourite tinpot thing ever. EVER.

The early kick off had seemingly caught Moneyfields unprepared, goal nets are fixed to the ground just before kick off and corner flags are put in place as Horndean kick off, almost immediately misplacing a pass straight into touch.

More thrilling photography brought to you from Adventures in Tinpot.

Two minutes later Ho Ho Horndean get into the Christmas spirit and gift Moneyfields a goal, the Horndean manager responds with a "fucks sake". From here seemingly every act by a Horndean player is followed by an angry sweary swear, as every touch is mis-controlled, every pass mis-hit and every shot off target.

Token match shot.

Like receiving socks for Christmas for the 24th year in succession Horndean conceding a second is no surprise. Steve Hutchings scores a penalty it front of the massed rank of two fans, one furiously producing thick clouds of smoke from a pipe (a pipe – Yes! *punches air* When I'm older I'm going to smoke a pipe) and another old boy watching from a chair wedged in the clubhouse doorway. A clear fire hazard. Never block an escape route. Basic fire safety that.

What's wrong with 'Keep off the Grass'?

Dear Santa,

I've been a really good boy this year and I wondered if you and Rudolf the Red Nosed Groundhopper could bring me a special gift this year. Please could you bring me something really funny at Moneyfields FC, I don't know what but if you could leave a surprise there for me there I'd really appreciate it. I'd also really like some Bristol City roller blinds.


P.S - I've left a match programme and a Bovril for you.

Oh, Santa thank you!! It's better than I could have ever imagined, I love it so much! Some seats from a bus stop in the Moneyfields dugout, I would never have even thought of it. I love it! Thanks Santa!! You're the best.

Somewhere in north Portsmouth confused commuters stand waiting for a bus.

Somewhere in north Portsmouth confused commuters stand in the rain waiting for a bus.

It's not the only thing that has mysteriously made it's way into the ground, a Pukka Pies sign advertises their non available wares, a newsagents sign promotes the next couple of games and dotted around the ground are 3 gold coloured bins advertising 'Coors' - not your new modern fangled fancy 'Coors Light', not even your Irish tin whistle toting pop combo The Coors, nope this is the Coors that sponsored Erland Johnsen era Chelsea.

Corrs blimey Guvnor.

The unprepared nature continues. Shortly after the refreshment hut runs out of, well everything it seems. Hot dog? No. Cup a soup? All gone I'm afraid. Chocolate bar? You should have brought your selection box. A kid is dispatched and his scooter to the Co-op to get some milk in an attempt to keep tea sales ticking over. Always have enough milk for teas. Basic catering skills that.

Empty boxes.

Easy on the milk there, that's got to last. Everyone, please welcome the left hand of Old Father Tinpot making it's AiT debut. A big hand for the hand please.

Not everyone at Moneyfields is a little disorganised. One woman walks along the terrace attempting to make people part with that manky £10 note Nan gave them in a Christmas card in exchange for one of her home made scarves in the yellow and blue of Moneyfields. Amazing stuff! A big doff on the home knitted slightly ill fitting AiT bobble hat to you. Identify a gap in the market and fill that gap. Basic business skills that.

Sod the Dukla Prague away kit, all I want for Christmas is a home made Moneyfields FC scarf.

Before half time it's three nil and, like a butterball Turkey on Christmas morning, Horndean are having Paxo firmly rammed up their anus being well and truly stuffed. Horndean go with the triple substitution which sees a kid come on with a hair cut that suggests he plays bass guitar in a locally popular but, nonetheless, hugely derivative indie band. He's not much good at football.

Pompey, rolling slightly irregularly and pulling slightly to the left.

The game drifts to a conclusion, the home support urging the ref to conclude the game “hurry up ref, the Eastenders omnibus starts at 2:45”, a subbed Horndean player leaves ten minutes before the end, presumably to go shopping with Darren Bent, and the game finishes with the ball being booted firmly into the trees surrounding the pitch.

Now...hold hands with the person to your right, and sing along with me!

On the first day of Christmas my tinpot sent to me
Twelve farters farting,
Eleven useless players,
Ten groundhoppers a hopping,
Nine ladies present,
Eight teas with no milk in,
Seven kids a scooting,
Six seats a stolen,
Five home made scarves,
Four part worn tyres,
Three Coors bins,
Two tinpot teams,
and a football lodged in a pine tree.

Monday, 5 December 2011

Stories from the City.

Bristol City v Middlesbrough
Saturday 3rd December 2011
The Championship
Ashton Gate, Bristol.
Attendance 14,467

Last Tuesday Bristol City announced losses of a mere £11,454,525 (eleven mill...a lot), taking total losses over 3 years to over £30m (thirty million). *

The loss was announced on the Tuesday and on Friday the club announced two vacancies; one for a Group Financial Controller and the other for a Financial Assistant. That afternoon half of the entire City staff endeavoured, unsuccessfully, to shut a barn door that had mysteriously opened, while the other half tried to locate a stallion that had been seen fleeing the scene in an agitated state.

***Warning – attempt to crowbar in fact coming up.***

The flats surrounding Ashton Gate were actually the ones used in Only Fools and Horses. In an attempt to get some money in quick City offered a reduction Del Boy would have been proud of. They're not asking the usual £30 for tickets, they're not asking for a score, who said £15 – put your money away love, it's only a tenner a ticket and now, because of their generosity, little Jon Stead is going hungry this Christmas.

How much for two tickets?

If that little money raising plan doesn't work City have a winner of an idea. Guinness copyright infringing T-Shirts celebrating new manager Derek McInnes' four wins in his first seven games. Win this game and there's every chance McInnes' face will be photoshopped into his own range of lawsuit inducing tracksuits, produced from a mush in Shepherds Bush.

This years fashion must have in BS3.

If short term novelty T-shirts haven't got you hastily re-writing your Christmas list then City have got just the item for you. Bristol City Roller Blinds. Amazing. Now, I know you've all got one burning questions here, can these roller blinds be fitted within the recess to work with my existing curtains? Good news, these Bristol City Roller Blinds can be “fitted within the recess to work with or without existing curtains”. What a Christmas this is going to be for the “dedicated Bristol City fan”.

This time next year we'll be millionaires, which is a shame because we are currently carrying total financial liabilities of some £30+ million, therefore £1m is only around 3% of our total current debt Rodney.

City aren't going to turn down the sponsorship shilling and there are a few signs signs for local businesses. The 'Boro fans (poor bastards) are situated behind a sign for The Three Lions pub, south Bristol's most unwelcoming pub for away fans, which was once frequented by Danny Dyer and also by a police horse which, undoubtedly, had more of an acting range.

Denzel brought in this shipment of Spartak Moscow gnomes this morning, stick a Bristol City logo on the shorts and go and flog em.

They are separated from the home fans by a bunch of City flags, from groups like Forza Eastend. At the other end of the terrace is an impressive mural including 'Ernie the Robin' and the words “when the moon shines”. Why “Ernie” and why “when the moon shines”? Wurzels lyrics of course.

Forza Eastend are admirably trying to create a decent atmosphere at the games. There's some decent photos here, some decent flags, some flares and Ernie graffited into a duck pond. “Try anything you aquatic mug and I'll get some proper nawty hoisin out, right?”. (Just joking eh lads, eh). They've also got some sort of manifesto, which includes “issuing advice for the correct purchase and consumption of our local apple based beverage.” *doffs commerative 30 years of The Wurzels hat*

Behind door 24 it's a set of Bristol City Roller blinds beautifully fitted within the recess to work with the existing curtains.

Shortly after kick off the only audible sounds of two old boy regulars behind me grumbling at those struggling to find their £10 seats. Middlesbrough keep possession, knock it round nicely and I'm sure it's all very pleasing on the eye, and how football should be played, but it's bloody boring. City get the ball occasionally and look for Albert “Alby” Adomah, a tricky winger who has been linked to West Brom, Fulham, Tytherington Rocks and Jossy's Giants. For Middlesbrough Nicky Bailey looked good, so good that even I noticed and hey, hands up I'll admit it, I'm no Zonal Marking.

Matching Santa hats. *shakes head*

Half time brings “the charge of the light brigade”, according to the old boys, as everyone piles out for Bovril. If I'd have known City we're going to play 'Dancing in the Moonlight' by pissing Toploader I'd have puffed out my chest, mounted my stead and led everyone ala Lord Cardigan in a recklessly brave attempt to storm the PA box and save us all from these offensive Jamie Oliver endorsed sack of taste the difference fuzzy haired shitbags.

There were also cheerleaders. They were called Vivacity.

Vivacity (noun) - characterized by high spirits and animation.

Also Viva City. Clever. Very clever.

The second half sees the locals get more animated as a perceived number of decisions go against them. It remains pretty dull. You know it's a bad game if even the local paper refers to the game as a “forgettable encounter” and the old boys behind me greet another mishit pass with “this ain't amateur football”. Oh sir, how I wish it was. I really do. £30 for this. No thanks.

Token match shot.

There was one bit of quality. An absolute belter of a free kick from Ravanelli, Juninho, Mido, Phil Stamp, someone called Malaury Martin. I've never heard of him. He's never heard of me. We get on fine. It's all here, the goal, the celebrations.

All my other photos were blurred, this is about the only one that wasn't and yes, I realise, it is very dull.

With that a pair of Middlesbrough fans dressed as Santa mock City's Eastenders, the home crowd chant “1-0 to the referee” and the City accountant worries what effect this defeat will have on the sales of those ill conceived Derek McInnes blow up dolls and pelmets the marketing department insisted upon.

*If you did want to read more about City's financial state have a look over Swiss Ramble's excellent account of City's eh accounts.

Sunday, 27 November 2011

Korea Opportunities.

Bath City v Dagenham and Redbridge.
Wednesday 23rd November 2011
FA Cup 1st Round Replay
Twerton Park, Bath.
Attendance 1,704

In the run up to this FA Cup tie Bath City started to receive unwanted tactical advice from a 17 year old in South Korea called Won Jae Yang. Won wants to be the Bath City manager and has clearly been considerable time furiously blurring the lines between Football Manager and reality.

Bath City - sponsored by News International.

Over 100 (one hundred) emails later, each one containing some fresh madness and it's clear Won is as crazy as an intoxicated squirrel in a wind tunnel. Observe. “the loach Bath City column teams becoming the river team will hang City teams with 4-2-3-1 tactics and to seem, wants and when frankly says and I leave a labyrinth roentgen per hour at one meter in the British soccer world.”

Told you.

Club shop in shipping container. 5 tinpot points.

But, maybe he's on to something. Maybe Bath's disappointing season has suffered a lack of “labyrinth roentgen”. Here at AiT we're not going to write him off and that's why we hope to win Won over with this report:

Dear Won,

What time is there?

Do you get Hollyoaks in South Korea?

I see you are a big Bath City fan and can’t believe they’ve dismissed your “labyrinth roentgen” idea. Anyway, here’s a report on the Dagenham & Redbridge match for you. I hope it helps you achieve your ambition to become Bath City manager.

The magic of the FA Carpet.

In the pre match build up Kes Director Ken Loach takes his usual place on the terraces, maybe he could do a film of you, make you look all majestic, like this snappily titled one on Kim Jong-Il. Bath’s mascot, Bladud the Pig, keeps no one entertained by doing press ups. That porcine berk has got to go. Finally the teams line up to the appropriately titled sounds of ‘Ready to Go’ by Republica. Did you have pictures of Saffron from Republica on your bedroom walls and in a locket around your neck like I did Won? God, she was fit wasn’t she?

DOG IN SCARF!! (Must avoid obvious canine related Korean gags)

I must shamefully confess I am not sure how your “labyrinth roentgen” formation lines up, but I’m pretty sure Bath didn’t utilise it. It looked more a 4-4-2 to me to be honest. As you rightly identified Lewis Hogg is “a very talented player, an ace for this team” due to his “wide field of view” and he confirmed this as Bath were the better side initially. However, I am sorry to inform you that defensive frailties were again apparent when Dagenham took the lead through Brian Woodall after only 20 minutes.

Oh joy. An orchestra.

After half time the main bulk of the vociferous Bath fans don’t change ends, they merely shuffle along to the other end of the terrace, to stand to the side of the goal Bath are now attacking. The middle of the terrace being, like the 38th Parallel North, a no go zone. These are the fans you will need to win over if you are to get the fans to accept your revolutionary tactical approach.

"Help me, get this pig away from me. STOP FILMING ME!"

"Oh christ. Get your trotters off me."

Thankfully, there is good news. Specifically that Bath equalised through a strike from 30 yards from Adam Connolly. The goal was of such supreme quality I doffed my traditional Korean gat in Connolly's direction. You didn't mention Connolly in your tactical advice for the game. Have you downloaded the latest Football Manager update Won?

"Please, someone make this nightmare end"

You were right when you, like a confused Yoda, said “finally, a striker Lee Phillips’ll need to use”. Spot on sir. When he came on he really caused that Dagenham defence problems and again you were right when you said “Scott Murray is recommended that you ought to use the player”. Almost won the game for Bath came with minutes few remaining he almost did, sadly he hit the post.

"I'm RADA trained me. Look at me now, out there, in front of all these people, dressed like a tinfoil twat and doing the waltz with an amourous pig. They told me I'd be going to Bath and performing in front of Ken Loach, I didn't know this is what the chuffing well meant. I'm firing my agent. It's alright for you, you've got a cup of tea. I can barely even sodding breath in this thing."

The match went to a period of extra time. The appropriately titled sounds of 'It's Not Over Yet' by Grace was played over the tannoy. They love their 90's pop here Won. Make a note of this: “How to win over fans if not going well: Get Chaka Demus & Pliers to do a personal appearance”. Those Bath City philistines are probably not aware of the early 90's Korean Pop sounds of Seo Taiji and the Boys though. I laugh at them.

Token match shot.

A man called Tom, dressed as the FA Cup, skipped his female chaperone and served to create a fervour amongst the excited home crowd. Sadly the players were not able to summon up such levels of athletic zeal; I feel this is probably due to the presence of a large bottle of Budweiser being played pitch side for the unfortunate recipient of 'Man of the Match'. Quite frankly, and I don't know if you've drunk Budweiser, but it takes of putrid skunk piss (no offence if this is a delicacy in South Korea, I've never been) and I strongly believe the real threat of being awarded this distasteful beverage meant that the Bath players performance levels declined accordingly. Quite rightly in my opinion Won. Quite fucking rightly.

Things get tense as Bladdud spots a Danepak van in the vicinity.

Sadly Won, you will not be leading the team out at Wembley this year. A terrible decision by the (possibly North Korean) buffoon of a linesman meant that Bath conceded a goal that was ridiculously offside. The conceding of a third goal was, like the seizure of power by General Chun Doo-hwan in 1979, a terrible injustice.

Keep sending the emails Won, one day they'll realise they need you. However, if Bath City don’t take up your generous offer then can I suggest you contact Mr George Rolls at Weymouth FC he’d be delighted to receive your emails.

Yours sincerely,

A I Tinpot

Tuesday, 22 November 2011

Streets Spirit (Ashton & Backwell United Fade Out)

Ashton & Backwell United v Street Reserves.
Saturday 19th November 2011
Errea Somerset County League – Premier & Division 1 Cup – 2nd Round.
The Recreation Ground, Backwell
Attendance 30 (ish)

You’re 18 years old and it’s the revelation every kid dreads. Mum’s pregnant again. You're parents are turning your 15 year old annoying brother’s room into a nursery and he’s moving in with you. You’re getting bunk beds. It’s all so unfair. Take down those posters of Michaela Strachan, make some space in the wardrobe, clear some space for his Warhammer and shift your colour TV and your CD collection of Bob Marley. Hide your sensi.

That, for the purpose of this paragraph and maybe others to follow and in no way based on any actual facts, is what happened to Backwell United FC when they merged with the pesky kids from Ashton Boys FC in 2010 to form Ashton & Backwell United (from now on, as I cant be arsed to type it out - ABU) and had to incorporate all Ashton’s stuff in their Recreation Ground home.

This Thursday: Lesson 2. How to fix a bracket.

The clubhouse walls have been stripped bare. No trophies. No old pennants. No posters of Michaela Strachan. Every single table looks the same, each one surrounded by the same style four chairs. Except two at the end of the room. I’m presuming Ashton brought them. One is about 30 cm off the ground, rendering it utterly useless, and the other is a fully extended dining room table (yes, it’s an extender!) Cheers Ashton!

What a carpet. WHAT a carpet.

A dozen seagulls look for worms in the lengthy leaf and firework covered grass as the teams line up. The ref, a man looking like the lead singer from Keane pre port addiction, gives his final advice to his two linesmen, both representatives from their clubs. The ABU linesman doesn’t seek to hide his allegiances and remains dressed in full club gear and it’s clear from kick off that play isn’t something he’ll be keeping up with , it’ s something he’ll be influencing with bellowed nuggets of tactical advice and by barracking the ref.

Keep the ball down there and out of my half for flips sake.

ABU’s opener after ten minutes brings him reason to applaud. Shortly after though he’s forced to frantically lumber after a long ball over his defence, which results in a beautifully lofted finish from the Street striker that draws eloquent praise from his team mates; “ beautiful finish you c*nt”. Lovely.

Token match shot.

Like any good underage kid brother Ashton turned up with a load of alcohol. Beer (probably cider actually )barrels are dotted all around the ground, for no obvious reason, they’re lined up outside the club house, stacked behind one of the goals, balanced on wood next to the 30 mud splattered seats of the ‘Bill Coggins Stand’ and two more serve to balance a ladder in front of a rusty pitch side tractor.

Low budget see-saw.

Welcome to Somerset. Where everyone drives a tractor.

A rusty tractor? Yeah, thanks Ashton. It’s rustier than TV-AM’s (and UKIP’s) Rustie Lee. When will we ever need that? Why have you got all these empty beer barrels anyway? What else have you bought us? Sorry, chairs? You thought they’d look nice scattered around the place?

Chair - Plastic, school assembly.

Old school style bucket chairs are piled high, plastic garden chairs line up at the back of the two step terrace and all around the ground Ashton’s chairs are scattered, most of them facing away from the pitch in shame at their unwanted weather beaten presence. Thanks again Ashton. These chairs will come in really useful.

Chair - Plastic, patio.

The chairs are shunned and most of the small crowd stand. One erect (behave yourselves) punter informs his mates that today is the last day that Tim Gudgin will be reading out the scores on Final Score, after 16 years. by using the inadequate clichéd analogy of “he’s hanging up his boots today”. His fellow fans don’t recall Gudgin or his unique undulating intonation, so examples are provided and seem to provide some feint recollection which encourages our story teller to offer, “yeah, he’s hanging up his mic today” to explain his retirement. In his mind this analogy still doesn’t provide the result (home win) required, that Gudgin’s verbal stylings will be a big loss to Saturday afternoons. Another, this time successful, demonstration of the full classified results sparks instant warm impressions by all and allows him to finally provide the analogy he was desperately seeking for to indicate the loss of Gudgin’s renowned verbal skills by concluding “yeah, he’s hanging up his mouth today”.

Clarification 0 - Bemusement 1 R

Go to the naughty terrace and stand there and think about what you've done.

Budget Jenga.

The seagulls swoop on the pitch again at half time, pints of brain addling dirty cider (one of 5 on tap – welcome to Somerset) are supped and the second half starts with another ABU official ambling the line…whilst supping a brew. His tactical advice differs from his colleague and is based around altering the dimensions of their pitch, “lift it”, “raise it”, “get width” and “dig in” all being offered. Someone fire up Rustie Lee.

Can't sit there mate.

The second half is entertaining, with great goals for each side, and is fairly fought; with physio’s called on to spray water on injuries and provide a helping hand to return players to their weary legs.

Ashton & Backwell United 2-2 Street Town Reserves L
Extra time currently being played.

Token match shot II

Both teams strikers continue to press for a winner, while both teams defence’s are happy to whack it clear. Midfielders are now irrelevant. Balls are hacked clear, bouncing off rusty tractors (thanks Ashton) and get stuck in the high branches of the trees. As extra time draws to a close the Backwell manager risks dislocating a shoulder by futilely throwing a branch into the lower branches of the tree; back up is called for. As the final whistle blows another bloke jabs a rusty rake at the lower part of the tree, not a branch moves.

Is there not enough chairs out here! Why do you have to drag one out of the bar?!

Penalty shoot out.

Ashton & Backwell United: Missed

Street Res: Scored

Ashton & Backwell United: Hit bar

Street Res: Scored

Ashton & Backwell United: Keeper saved

Street Res: Scored

Late Result

Ashton & Backwell United 2 (AET) 2 Street Town Reserves R
Street Town Reserves win 0-3 on penalties.

There will be dancing on the streets of Street tonight.

Monday, 14 November 2011

So that was the first big FA Cup weekend of the winter.

Bristol Rovers 3-1 Corby Town
Saturday 12th November 2011
FA Cup 1st Round
Memorial Stadium, Bristol
Attendance: 3,787

It's been a big week for Corby Town FC. On Wednesday they officially opened their new Steel Park stadium with a friendly against Glasgow Rangers, partly due to the town's strong Scottish links, and today the Steelman take on the Gasheads of Bristol Rovers in the 1st round of the FA Cup.

My non match day club shop is a megastore.

The Corby fans were initially quieter than an Arab Strap B Side. A solitary black and white flag is waved, while a sheet with the Jaegermeister logo emblazoned on it (eh?!) falls embarrassingly between fans not aware with the flag carrying protocol being attempted here. These are non league fans, this sort of exuberant behaviour doesn't come naturally.

Hands up, put your hands up. Too late.
Where do you even get something like this?

However, I was delighted to spot three black and white Corby Town FA Cup rosette's**, numerous scarves half in the black and white of Corby and half in the Glasgow Rangers blue (I heart these scarves) and an old boy proudly sporting the black and white stripes of.....a 1996/7 season Juventus shirt.

"Pauline!.....Pauline!!......Pauline!!!! Where's my Corby shirt? It's the big FA Cup game against Bristol Rovers today. Everyone's wearing their shirts, it's the biggest day in our recent history, it's going to be a sea of black and white and I want to show my proud support for the team"

"Oh, sorry Dave. It's in the washing machine and I've just put a rinse on. Why don't you just wear that Alan Boksic shirt I got you? They're the same colours aren't they? Why does it matter anyway?

"....*slaps forehead* (forlornly) Oh for fucks sake"

Illuminous jacket, woolly hat and prescription sunglasses. A powerful look.

With kick off approaching the obligatory 'FA Cup away day out at a bigger club Glory Hunter Express' arrives and dumps a load of chumps into the ground, swelling the number of Corby fans to around 400. For the dedicated fans you can see the excitement that a match against higher league opposition brings; as the teams enter the pitch a drum is pounded, numerous black and white flags are frantically waved whilst one latecomer throws uninflated black and white balloons into the crowd. Either he's a very tardy man, has severe respiratory problems or has massively misunderstood the basic air filled concept of a balloon.

mmmm flags.

With only a few balloons bobbing around pitch side Rovers almost take the lead after thirty seconds, however Zebroski's shot is horribly mishit. This sets the tone for the first half with Rovers dominating and the game being a bit rubbish really. The glory hunters continue to attempt to start chants that invariably trail off into a confused mumble, or highlight a complete lack of knowledge of even the most basic Corby Town facts, or both; "Hello, hello we are the Corby boys and if you are a... ehhh....."

You can't fault the majority of the Corby fans though, their teenage fan club create a decent atmosphere, not always easy in the open away end, as their team toils away. Throughout the first half they continue to sing, wave their flags and even go for the, rarely seen, chant and prolonged scarf twirling combo. Even going a goal down from a Scott McGleish penalty in 26 minutes can't shut them up for long.

mmm big flag

In the second half they get louder and louder as Corby begin to pen Rovers in their own half. When they equalise, after the ball bobbles in off Callum Reynolds, the non existent roof metaphorically comes off. Players rush from the dugouts and a good old bundle ensues, the euphoric fans launch themselves down the terraces towards the players, elated players pump their clenched fists towards the fans and fans ecstatically punch the air and share gleeful embraces.

The Twilight Happy.

Batshit crazy scenes Geoff.

One guy takes it upon himself to become a Capo and gets his shirt off, grabs what appears to be a toy megaphone, possibly purchased from an Early Learning Centre en route. He then leads some more scarf waving and then impressively orders “shoes off if you love Corby”, an order instantly followed by about a hundred trainer wearing Midlanders. *doffs AiT commerative FA Cup cap, drops shoe, puts shoe on, drop hat, picks up hat* These are the scenes resulting from the jubilation of believing an FA cup upset can happen, the belief that your club will achieve a moments recognition in the nation's consciousness and the expectation of further upsets in subsequent rounds.

There look, on the left, the guy with his toy megaphone. Yeah, I'll buy a decent camera one day.

God I wish Weymouth were in the First Round of the FA Cup again. We played Nottingham Forest once you know.

Sadly Corby's parity is shorter than Wee Jimmy Krankie and 12 minutes later Mustapha Carayol spanks a great shot in. Corby struggle to get back into the game, the shouting subsides slightly and is replaced with classic non league shouts like “you officious little tit ref.” Sadly, on ninety minutes, Chris Zebroski adds a third and the dream is over.

Token match shot.

For every cup upset there's 20 more performances like this. Corby's fans and players can be rightfully proud of their today their endeavours today. A day on which the team's battling performance comes up just short; where long term fans have re-affirmed their love for the club and new fans feel the passion that comes from supporting your home town club on big FA Cup day's like this.

To see the goals click here.

Previously on AiT: Bristol Rovers v Exeter City.

**Note to self - investigate options for AiT Rosettes.